Archive.WIP “melody address”
stressed
pressed
obsessed
depressed
Want more
need Less
Bless,
blessed
bless Up
Dress up
Show up
Grow up
Own up
Blow up
Fold up
Fold in
Flew in/rode out
blew in/Blown out
Blown down, rolled out
Bow Down.
Crowned
Cower
Tower/the prowess
Now
shower
me
with
Love
Undress
me with your
Eyes and Then
mess up this
written
testimony
It will be different
tommorrow
lessstress-stressless
light it up
burn it down
let it go
lets have
dessert
first
we can
cut the
western,
wedding,
king cake
open
with our
sharpened
silver
tongues, softly
hopin just to
find that plastic
toy
baby
boy
wishes
surprises
and lessons
there is
more joy
here
than you
would have
guessed
fractals
What’s the point she thinks she clinks her glass the ice is melting it’s not yet below freezing but we are still dealing with this climate crisis and ice is somehow breaking into the headlines and the deadlines fast approaching dealers steadily increase prices and customers demand to know why but still buy maniacally and it’s ironic since what we really need are more healers but is school just for the naïve youth for those who have yet to learn the truth upon waking? whats in the news papers anyway? I mean whats really shakin’ bacon-fatty-acid-watsch: the train tracks are packed, overloaded taking back packs of
unwanted orders grain & manufactured overloaded hopes and wishes. what job crises? they say? they lower wages across the board and cut the taxes and everyone feels better because well! you too can be a youtube star! sxxzt! TURN ON/OFF THE FLASH – GO LIVE NOW
xx buzz zzz z and ZAP because you must be ready for anything – a collective unconscious uprising like a vaguely visible iceberg
tipping up hats&
so in titanic status fashion we join hands for fear of sinking.
clinking
ice in our
old fashioned
clothes
at cocktail hour
power in numbers
a slurred attempt to be
to be happy for the time
being
this time around: prequel/ssequel
let us make diamonds from ash, after everything is gone, after it seems dark and desolate. let us make diamonds
this time
love story
We(e) team
Tied 2
B(e)/e S(c)e(e)n/e, o I see
Not sure you know what I mean,
You want to microdose some LSD?
In the diner they’re talking about ayahuasca
Trippy/tripping
Au pair. Dos Equis / xx / XXX
Attention! Tentacion! Temptation…
LOOK AT ME. No really,
go ahead. Look around
Micro cosm
Micro chasm
Micro facial expression
That flat
Back down
Black lifted truck
Two door sport car
Body style,
Muscular & new angled
Lifted chin, lifted chest
Heavy four door heavy bullet proof vest 24/7
Dodge chevy ford Toyota
License to ILL
Illinoise would you kill that noise boys?
face to face. Saving face. Every conversation. Best face forward.
Cookie craving Cookie Monster cookie delivery
Not selling this, don’t sell that, I can’t sell, you sell a load. I’m calling it.
Don’t say no
Time to go.
Ownership slave ship relationship
Dealership.
Steady Stacking chips
To pay for all of this, [you know] you’ve got ‘all that’
*Bling,
To be a dead ringer
Pull the trigger
Go ahead
Invest in that blessing, that home, that land, and fam
You’d make a damn fine
Right Hand Man you know
I just sneezed
. . . ..
:.: .:.:: :.
.. . . .. . .
. . . . . .
I see you everywhere I go.
fear of not being alone
what use is the word love
as a verb
if all you see is inaction
fight or flight/stance is standing in place
going nowhere, now
no, cant gain any traction
even though toes curl down
gripping the ground
anxiously waiting for something to happen
but knowing nothing will.
the callouses get thicker over time
skin to concrete/foot to curb
no one will rub them, it goes too deep
they cease to hurt/become one with the surface
statuesque
you thought you heard something
but it was just a word
it meant nothing. hollow echoes bounce around empty buildings
structures that have been abandoned for more permanent abodes. who occupies them?
no one knows. (no one knows anything. we are all confused. pretending.)
so you stand, stuck, fucked, out of luck
and out of love
strong, cold, stone. world weary and weathered. resolute. choosing to be alone.
what symbols we have chosen for a generation: lonely, perfect, singular sculptures
white marble. reusable solo cups. don’t ever change/don’t ever change.
perhaps encapsulated this way, you will never, ever die.
ubiquitUS
Take my words and use them for something hold them in your mouth until they become mealy Chewed over newspaper. I blacken your tongue. You think these thoughts are yours. Cold—No. Enunciate! Warmer now, yes. Coal. Ah. Now: Make them myth. Dissolve them. What words? Make them nothing. They were never ours anyway. These letters are not original creations. We are not unique, just thieves, borrowers, recycling random symbols from time. cut, copy, paste. Just here to mine gold from the top of the totem pole
I know you know
. . .
I got bigger I got smaller
I drank things. I took pills. I ate leftovers. I wasted money. I spent time. I paid with my body. I grew. I shrank. I cried. I listened. I saw. I became more thoughtful. I created. I drew from you. And You. You made me. You continue to project me onto the page.
Now you. You think my thoughts. You think and think them until my thoughts are your own. I am writing the things you think now.
We are no longer “alike.”
We are exactly the same.
you are
It’s been a long time
has it? i lost track.
yes. i’ve been looking for you.
you found me.
you don’t seem like you want to see me.
(pause, no response)
i can go. (turns to leave)
fine, ok. i’ll play. why are you here? why have you been looking for me? what do you want?
i just need some answers, things aren’t adding up. you seem to understand things better, you’ve been here all along.
answers regarding…?
who is the girl everyone keeps mistaking me for? who was she?
i beg your pardon? (feigned)
you know what I’m talking about. (no games, eyes narrowed)
(pregnant pause)
that girl is dead.
dead? (shock)
yeah. she died. 5, 7 years ago. I can’t recall. (types something into computer) what is this about?
there seems to be a mix up.
between you and the dead girl.
yeah. with a lot of people.
(pause)
you really don’t know, do you?
no. what? what is it that i’m supposed to know?
i’m a bit surprised you hadn’t figured it out by now. (flips through papers, mindlessly/emotionless, waiting.)
well, i’m starting to wonder if i am her.
i guess you don’t remember then. (sigh, mildly annoyed to have to explain) you are. or, you were. yes. you’re correct. you were her.
but i’m not dead…
(shrug) i don’t actually know that. maybe you are.
(beat)
anyway, that girl was a former version of you, or you are a newer version of her. the update. the upgrade. it’s how the aging process works. didn’t you get the files?
files…?
yeah, they were sent to whatever email you provided back then. or she did. whatever. and if you don’t personally remember the passwords, they should have been forwarded with the latest software… these wouldn’t be clear memories, understand. more like dreams, or foggy, distant forgotten memories. but, everything has been saved. you are her. but you aren’t her, either. you are you.
but i’m…
you are here. and here you are. any more questions, or…?
this is confusing. i need to go. i need to make a phone call.
no one does that anymore, darling.
An Intense Procedural
We did a dance
I needed more
You’re sweet
We sweat
I bleed it out
You beat me
To it
Fuck it, screw it
Here’s to
A breakthrough
I mean, we’re busting open
Something
What’s a barrier anyway
A carrier in the
DNA
You always seem to know just what to say
We only ever did need each other in that way
Go ahead
play catch
go fish,
Splash
Water
fire, tinder
Joint
Daughter
Carter
Drip
Tear
Cauterize the
Artery and cut
deeper
Harder
Push me
Farther
Like a father
You’ve been
Closer. Inside. My mind… me too, you know. Outer/spatial/sensor. Space
bar. Censor. Looking out. Looking in, who’s watching? From afar. You’re inescapable. Inexcusable. Indescribable. I’ve been smiling more. Moving more. Opening doors. Finding keys and writing down these bars. Noticing patterns and letters avoiding drinks and men in bars. The wetter the better but you know how the jargon goes. Oh. No. Not there. Not where it shows. Too on the nose? A little glow, a little golden hour shower and I’ll power nap it out. Snap out of it this ain’t a mother. Fucking. Drought. Bought a necklace and a ring for myself and now the phone only rings when someone needs something they can’t do for them self . Or, I guess they could. I do. I did. I usually do. These feelings drown my common sense. I’d rather spend dollars than time – or, I guess those cents are the same in the end. All being equal. Sprinkling sugar. Down the drain. Brown
Bag
Lunch
Box
Stain
Then, there’s always you. You know who.
Don’t say the words. Don’t think them anymore.
I’m not here for your false idol worship. Your misplaced love and hurt feelings too real.
Too scarred to heal. Turn on your heel and go. You know what I expect. I know you won’t accept the truth.
About who? Me or yourself?
Better questions for someone else.
now is dreaming
genetically defective pov
isnt it amazing how we can complicate
the simplest of problems
i agree
i taste blood
i taste blood
in you
in your
fragments
what time is it
i need i need
wanting
wanting something
remembering
focus
everyone is selling something
how you look
is less
important
than you think
that it is
what does it mean
who are you
name
names
.
when did it stop
when did you stop.start
what does it mean
what does it matter
you
i could have stayed in there
forever
i could have stayed underwater forever
water
in the water
a shower
water
under/in
bathing
bath
water
clean and
new
baptisms
renew
what time of year is it
what time
who are
daughters holding hands of fathers holding hands of
statues
cold, hot, still
statuesque
she is looking away/down/inward
and waving
cameras look at her
knives, shiny, flashing
high
heels
wash their feet
wash her feet
wish her well
and then
as things change, the question is asked:
how much to see things the way that you see them
priceless?
i say I won’t pay an extra penny for you to find out
but I always do, tricks*
yeah, *ass tricks (the FUCKERY)
because the “who are you?”
always asking, taking, wanting
then
remembering
entering data
drawing blood and
entering
who
you are
data
reduced to numbers
digits
naming
names
regurgitate your information again
for a fee, drive, march of—blood cell, and that blood/sells/you can save some on your premiums today, name names… do the dance, why? why not
all they want—want your bills, your cells, and eventually your babies
too many people
whats the cost
indeed
longhand type writer 